A compassionate relationship
Imagine a compassionate relationship. It’s widely validated that humans are wired to want to contribute and care for others.
Very important to know is that – we bond to experiences of comfort. “To comfort someone is to give solace or to soothe. … The verb comfort comes from the Latin word comfortare, which means “strengthen greatly.” To give comfort is to shore up the mood or physical state of someone else.” (vocabularly.com)
Comfort is offered because there is compassion.
Without compassion there’d be no impulse to reach out. Afterall compassion is concern for the welfare and well-being of others.
A compassionate relationship has this beautiful nurturing quality of caring about each other. Not caring for, as in how a parent cares for a child. Rather walking alongside each other, enter into loving conversations, listening, responding to the other to be there for them. You can do that 😉
What gets in the way of a compassionate relationship?
When people feel anxious though have you noticed that they might become preoccupied with themselves? Talking about themselves, above showing an interest in another. Busily focused on getting tasks done .. edgy and irritable, contracted rather than open to those around them.
We all have reasons from daily life stresses (we can include lockdown in there) to unresolved trauma. Taking care of ourselves is part of being emotionally, physically and at every level, present for loving.
How can you support yourself?
- Attend to sources of unresolved stress
- Device-free time
- Healthy downtime activities
- Share and connect empathically
- Listen deeply without thinking
- Be physically comfortable
- Do nothing sometimes!
Compassion and empathy are integral to comfort and the quality of presence and connection which builds the positive cycle.
A compassionate relationship makes life, relationships and being you more easy, warm and joyful. Start with being compassionate to yourself.
I invite you to also listen to Daniel Goleman, (infamous for his work on Emotional Intelligence)
I’d love to hear your answer to the question he is answering in the TED talk too. Click the link …
“Why some people are compassionate and others are not” I’m sure you have your own observations, including and most importantly of yourself.
Be kind to each other, love.