Language and connection are direcly related. “Words are windows or they’re walls” said, the developer of Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg PhD Have you noticed words can land like a physical blow, a sharp jab or a gentle touch? I bet you’ve been on both sides of this. Words come directly from how we think and perceive ourselves and others. If
Getting beyond right and wrong is essential for a healthy relationship. It appears to take more effort than just seeing things in black and white. However, ultimately it’s more harmonious, loving, and real. Conflict is fueled by seeing things in black and white, as opposites – right and wrong. Which just leaves us all feeling less connected and safe. A
Online relationship therapy is here to stay. It’s an accessible, effective means for getting support from a specialist with minimum disruption to daily commitments. If you have yet to experience it you might be surprised! Here are three things are useful and supportive for online therapy to remember. Think ahead in three timeframes – before, after online relationship therapy, and
“Most affairs are not primarily about sex; they’re about a hunger for connection and not knowing how to satisfy this hunger with one’s partner” – Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Does that mean that seeking an affair is ok? No. It means an affair (emotional or sexual) is a tragic attempt to meet needs for
Never do anything that isn’t play – said Marshall Rosenberg, developer of Nonviolent Communication To go from resentment to easy open connection .. Take a look at all the things that are being done against someone’s real willingness. This is the point where someone calls out – “yeah but sometimes you just HAVE to do stuff even if you don’t
There’s something within each of us that senses disconnection. It’s painful, and can feel like rejection. Rejection registers in our brains in the same area as physical pain. You will ‘read’ invisible messages—accurately or not—depending upon your past experiences and the filter through which your sensory system is operating. That filter is coloured by your past attachment history—especially with your
Are you in an intimate relationship and feel as though you’re trying desperately to be loved by the other person? Do you crave connection, but feel there’s a great chasm separating you from your partner? What if you could feel that you’re actually connected? Sound good? The truth is that you can’t actually be disconnected from your partner. Check for
Picture yourself as a toaster sitting on a kitchen counter. The cook is preparing a meal and you’ll soon be collaborating to make a bunch of delicious, golden brown toast. You’re plugged in, electricity is flowing through your wires, and all is well. Suddenly, something happens. Feelings of insecurity sweep over you and you no longer feel emotionally safe. Can
Self-responsibility is a pre-cursor for trustworthiness, and being a safe place for others to turn toward. Self-responsibility is when you can you acknowledge and own: The part you play in the circumstances of your life. Your thoughts, feelings, words and actions, as well as how they impact yourself and others. You’ll exercise self-responsibility to the degree you’re in touch with who you are as
Whether you’re looking to keep a romantic relationship strong or repair a relationship that appears to be headed for the rocks, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an approach that’s been proven to be highly effective in building relationships that last. What is EFT? “EFT is a well-known humanistic approach to psychotherapy formulated in the 1980’s and developed in tandem with
You know how when you meet someone, you just get the feel, the vibe of them? We all have a vibe, an energy – that’s a given yes? Well, the reason emotions have such a significant role in relationship is – they’re energy in motion. Handling emotions has a profound impact in how a relationship plays out. So when your
Your partner sees you as no-one else does. They sleep with you, eat with you, see you under stress. They get to hear what troubles you, delights you, what you need emotionally. There’s a deep and beautiful vulnerability in this. They may validate you – I hope they do. Validate your feelings and needs. Affirming that your inner world makes
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