Create new beginnings
Like many of the couples whom I work with they’ve got some significant topics to grok their way through – including less intimacy and sex than one or both would like, lack of trust, grief, and resentment.
They have devised their own way to check for understanding and as I watch the deep intent and vulnerability, open to hearing what is at the core of the other’s expression, I am (once again) awestruck. At times one might get a ‘reaction’ and want to defend themselves, but more and more they are hearing tenderly what was previously hidden.
The level of trust and warmth is growing as they keep dipping into new depths of honesty. The by product is relief and hope. So I thought I would blog today as an advertisement for honesty! Does anyone do an international day of honesty? Of course, I am referring to honesty from the heart, not of critical thoughts flung painfully out.
Such heart honesty seems to be a core element in creating new beginnings and deepening connections and trust. So, honesty and deep respectful listening – I commend both to you. A powerfully transformative combination.
By way of encouraging you to embrace honesty and listening, I want to share what – another client, Sara Heath (thank you Sara) said to me today, “I was unsure about revealing my thoughts and feelings, it just seemed such an enormous task to face and I wasn’t very sure I was up to it… What I discovered was, it is a big task, yes, it is hard to unpack all my feelings and be open and honest about what I am experiencing BUT it also is a huge relief and after each session, I feel lighter and 100% more hopeful of a brighter future”.
Sometimes first base is quietly being completely honest and listening to oneself.
Whose honesty can you hear fully today? Whose would you like to be able to hear without reaction? And with whom would you like to share your heartfelt honesty? I hope I have inspired you today.