Emotions are intelligent
“Emotions do not deserve being put into opposition with intelligence. Emotions themselves are a higher order of intelligence.” Orval Hobart Mowrer
Understanding intense emotions is essential if we are to experience intimate relationships and love. They will be stimulated everyday, often. That’s not a bad thing. Infact emotions bring a unique possibility for connection.
Ignoring, blocking or blotting up emotions as a regular habit doesn’t help us feel like being super close and connected, open and vulnerable with each other.
Without emotions being included openly it can feel like we aren’t connecting. This may or may not be conscious. Emotional protection is a survival action when we don’t feel safe. That can occur without conscious thought.
This is why in emotionally focused therapy we slow down and explore behaviours and emotions.
Whether the emotion is fear, sadness, shame or joy and playfulness .. it’s all useful and all one emotional continuum. The more comfortable and more importantly, willing (even when it is uncomfortable) to meet the full array emotions, the more aliveness and alignment we can share.
I know. It’s full on sometimes and perhaps you’d like to turn away from emotion.
Love relationship is inherently intertwined with big feelings.
The more emotional safety you offer your partner, the more they’ll venture into sharing emotions with you.
It’s so important to feel, sense and engage your way toward each other in a way that works for you both <3
If you’d like to hone your emotional awareness and skills visit Connection Essentials