Never do anything that isn’t play!
Never do anything that isn’t play – said Marshall Rosenberg, developer of Nonviolent Communication To go from resentment to easy open connection .. Take a look at all the things that are being done against someone’s real willingness.
This is the point where someone calls out – “yeah but sometimes you just HAVE to do stuff even if you don’t want to” or “if people just did what was play, or what they had joy or genuine willingness for, important things wouldn’t get done”! You reckon? IS that really true? That’s not what I’ve seen. Whomever does care about that will be naturally moved into action.
No harm or no coercion is a core principle of nonviolent communication. Firstly if something is meaningful it WILL get done. If needs will be met then action will occur. E.g. you will go to work if you are in touch with the choice and support this will afford you and your family. Being in touch at that level is a very different heart place to go to work from than the irritability of “I have to” – it’s more “I want to” Not quite play but def. willingness.
Secondly when I forced myself even in small ways e.g. picking up kids, baths and cooking dinner when my husband was travelling, I was exhausted and needed support. That force would leak out. In snapping at them or my body – headache etc. SO I started to make choices .. that better fit. It meant the odd dinner of scrambled eggs or cheese on toast, a bath skipped, a kitchen left until the morning to clean up. When I discovered Nonviolent Communication I prioritised nonviolence above old ideas of I SHOULD/ you should. I quit coercing myself and did my level best to not apply violence/ pressure upon those around me either. It made for interesting parenting! And much more loving and respect.
This is a HUGE important topic in relationship. I encourage you to experiment.
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