I was recently asked to respond to this question.. How can I speak in such a way that the other person understands me easily?

Can you sense how much this person wants ease? and how much they value understanding? Yes, I do. I also hear how they are longing to be heard without friction or risking distress. I imagine connection and harmony are also very important to the questioner, especially with this other person they have in mind.

We can’t change how the other is listening can we? We can only look at how we are expressing ourselves.

So to start with, I love right off the bat that we are looking in a helpful direction with this question. I feel hopeful for the questioner, seeing that they are not trying to change the listener. Yay!!

My reply is simple:  Speak to the person from a place of connection to yourself, be really in touch with yourself – what you are feeling and what matters to you.

Too often we can be speaking our opinion, giving advice and sharing our worldview or maybe even trying to subtly educate the other person. Telling them what we think they should do or how life would be so much better if they did XYZ.

People don’t easily listen to this kind of incoming message.  Resistance goes up.  After-all who wants to be improved, corrected or educated when they haven’t asked for this? No matter how much you are speaking from a place of wanting to help them, there will likely be an inner resistance to that style of expressing yourself.

People want to hear something real and blame-free.

Speak honestly with an open heart, free of agenda and unasked for helping.

You might need to unlearn previous ways of expressing yourself and replace these. You can update your awareness around this by learning a few key things that will direct you towards clear, honest, caring expression that is easily understood.

Here is a place to learn online at your own pace…

warmly