3 tips if you’re having online relationship therapy

3 tips if you’re having online relationship therapy

Online relationship therapy is here to stay. It’s an accessible, effective means for getting support from a specialist with minimum disruption to daily commitments. If you have yet to experience it you might be surprised! Here are three things are useful and supportive for online therapy to remember. Think ahead in three timeframes – before, after online relationship therapy, and later on the day of therapy.

BEFORE the session

Make sure that you have a sense of what each of you will have been doing just prior to the session and agree rather than assume who’s going to set up the technology. Think about sharing that, so it doesn’t all fall to one particular person. If you’re coming in from two separate locations, then it’s even more helpful to understand broadly what the other person has been doing, so that you have a sense of connection when they arrive on that screen and that little rectangle.

AFTER the session

This is probably the most important one. I recommend you have a bit of a plan for after the session. For instance, 10 – 15 minutes of space to breathe before you carry on with other tasks. This is especially useful should the session not end on a particularly comfortable note. That can happen despite everyone’s best intentions. Relationships are organic and things unfold differently than expected occasionally. Sometimes you might end on what I call an ‘edge’. That can be awkward. So be gentle and make the most of the time after the screen closes and you’re there beside each other.

Plan ahead for one easy supportive action. Maybe you put the kettle on, take a breath and/or stretch outside before you go on to whatever it is that you have next. Alternatively, you might have a brief way of appreciating each other. It could be a hand, squeeze. It could be a hug. It could just be, “thank you for showing up”. “Thanks for being there”.

LATER in the day

So having a particular point in time that you’ve pre-agreed for touching base later. When you take maybe 15 minutes or half an hour to share, how you are, how the session has settled in you, or anything that you want to express to the other. Obviously that’s not an invitation to dissect the session. Nor is it a time to kind of like download on the other person. It’s an interaction with the intention to connect and just support each other, to have the energy and effort you brought to the session, integrate a little and settle in.

So some of these things are useful, whether you’re in person or online, but particularly useful if you’re online.

If you have other ideas or something else that works for you, do drop me a line/ DM or PM me. This is a growing area. We’re all developing more awareness and making the most of it. Keen to experience this and see if online relationship therapy is for you? Click to book an introductory session 

Bye for now!

Mukti Jarvis Emotionally Focused Therapist

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