Grief, loss and letting go …
The single greatest source of suffering in relationship is that we have expectations. We get stuck when we believe that our expectations are rightful and things don’t happen accordingly.
This can leave us afraid. Afraid to experience the grief, loss and letting go of our expectations not being fulfilled. Why are we afraid? Because we mistakenly believe that this means something about the relationship or our partner … or that we now have to have an argument or worse, leave. Usually this isn’t the case at all.
It’s useful to write down all your relationship expectations and see what happens if you let them go – just for a day. What if you accept him/ her as they are? What a relief. I’m not saying let the person go … let go of the expectations and beliefs about how you need them or relationship to be. Sadness may arise. Acceptance may also appear. That’s not the goal though.
The goal is to let go. And then maybe you do have a vulnerable conversation. Letting go of our expectations, we are free of blame, open, more present, clearer and softer. New, fresh things can emerge, when we are free from our list of expectations.
Linda Mukti Rysenbry