Whatever you think your partner is deliberately holding out on giving you … they probably aren’t. I know that’s hard to believe. This isn’t actually bad news. Come with me here ..

Almost everyone who comes to see me wants to know how they can get their partner/ the other to give them what they want.  Thinking, then all will be well.

Yikes! Have you ever fallen into the trap of believing this?  Are you worried that if you can’t change your partner you’re doomed? Hang on a minute there, please.

“Are you saying that my partner doesn’t have to change in order for me to be happy?” Basically yes. Don’t click away though, it gets better 🙂 YOU are powerful in this equation.

Firstly I’m saying -I truly get you – you really want your partner to change and you truly believe that this will satisfy you and make you happier. It really feels like if you could just get this to happen you’d be ok. Yes?

That would be temporary though.  And precarious. Because so long as your peace and happiness is dependent on them conforming, there will be conflict.  Conflict because you are trying to shape and reform the other.

Secondly I’m saying lets turn around that energy of blame and disappointment and follow it back home within you.  Your current conflict could lead to growth. This depends on whether you turn outward against or away from your partner. Or inward to full intimacy and honesty with yourself, and then with your partner, (friend or family member if this is your situation with someone else).  YOU are always the one who chooses which direction you turn and take in conflict.

Things could be come calm and reflective or stoney and hard work – like this image I took on a walk with my son in the USA.

Don’t know how to do this? Go here

Don’t want to do this without support? Come here

LOVE