Building bonds of love by being present
What I’m writing about today is a fundamental act of love. It’s major key to experiencing a secure bond in a relationship. Presence.
I often hear people saying “… she, he, they are not present to me”.
“I want him/ her to be PRESENT”. What does that mean?
The best and most simple description I would offer is – giving your 100% attention to the person you are with.
In many ways it is so much easier than all the other games and distortions we can get mixed up in. Yet we are easily distracted by technology, social media, work and other demands on our attention. Including legitimately by children!
Your present attention is vital to creating a secure bond. I invite you to BE 100% open and attentive. Put aside your tasks and turn away from the aforementioned distractions. Settle your mental and emotional habits of reaction especially
a) when your partner makes a bid for your attention and/or
b) frequently enough to nurture the relationship with full attention
If you can be present to your beloved to the extent that they feel truly seen, valued, understood, significant – and they can do this with you, you have a living, breathing, learning, loving relationship.
If habits and reactions get in the way, I urge you to discover how to handle this in > Connection Essentials