What we do when we hurt…

What we do when we hurt…

I’ll bet you have hurt AND been in pain, upset.  Being a human being that’s highly likely.

When we are hurt we need empathy – basic understanding free of conditions.  We have other needs, maybe to be heard, respect etc. and to grow and heal.  I believe those last two are hidden needs we are not always consciously connected to.  When we are suffering, my experience is that we are often not in touch with and meeting this need to grow and until we are, we continue to be in pain.

When we are stuck we might blame, criticise, think it’s everyone else who is the problem.    Infact the extent to which we are pain and disconnected from our desire to grow beyond this pain, is the extent to which we will  share or inflict pain on those around us – doesn’t seem to matter whether we know them or not.  It gives us relief, empathy and allows us to move some of the energy.  Only temporarily though.

The lasting wholesale nfl jerseys way to move the energy, get the depth of empathy we long for and grow, become bigger than our circumstances is to actually to STOP and go inward.  To claim our experience instead of disowning it.  To FEEL what is going on. To shine the light of awareness inward and get in touch with the deep hurt and old wounded self that is crying out for empathy and all those other needs we have ignored or carried around believing they can’t/ have not been met.  It can be necessary to get professional support with this and you can do this with a friend or yourself, especially if you know the ins and outs of empathy not sympathy.

That old identification as our wounded child self will pop up again and again in our adult relationships looking for the circle to be completed and the healing to occur.

Use your life and relationships today with grace and tenderness and heal yourself by being totally honest and vulnerable with yourself and those you love. Instead of reacting outwardly and hurting them as much as you are hurting.

The result is magnificent.

My fingers are cold on this wintery day so I send very warm wishes to you : ) and now take myself indoors to the heater!

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