Self-responsibility: The real benefit
Self-responsibility is a pre-cursor for trustworthiness, and being a safe place for others to turn toward.
Self-responsibility is when you can you acknowledge and own:
- The part you play in the circumstances of your life.
- Your thoughts, feelings, words and actions, as well as how they impact yourself and others.
You’ll exercise self-responsibility to the degree you’re in touch with who you are as a person. It’s hard to own your emotions, actions and impact if you’re not aware of yourself in this way.
Being aware of and sensing your inner experience will help you discover this.
When you’re in a state of reaction and distraction, you’re out of touch with who you are at the core. They could manifest as ignoring, stonewalling, criticising, or even social media or food. Do any of these sound familiar? If so, they could be your patterns. Maybe you get caught up in a deluge of thoughts, busyness, checking off your to-do list, suppressing feelings, and the idea of being relaxed and present in the moment seems like a pipe dream.
Believe me, I get it.
Your sense of self doesn’t come from acting out reactions. It comes from facing and investigating your reactions so you can find your self.
Action won’t lead you to being open, present, and peaceful. It’s a trick to think that, only after you’ve ticked off everything on your list, that THEN you’ll be present for yourself and your loved ones.
How does it go with your partner when you’re tense, preoccupied, nervous, consumed with completing your tasks, and feel unresolved about something? Not so good I bet.
And isn’t it when you’re open and emotionally available, willing to share or listen, that your relationship goes better? Aha! Yes, you bring more of your Self AND more of your Self becomes available, right? You begin to build a positive cycle of connection.
I urge you to make self-connection top of your list. Become Ninja good at this. This is essential to self responsibility.
You need it for your nervous system to be present, available, and ready for connection with another. Noticing, feeling, breathing for five minutes in full acceptance of everything that’s here for you—whatever your reaction. I don’t care if it is rage, grief, frustration, numbness. It’s your unique doorway to yourself.
If you’ll do this for just three weeks you’ll experience a reduction in reactivity. Plus, I believe you’ll also increase the amount of Self available. Which brings us back to our original focus—self-responsibility.
From more self connection comes the ability to vulnerably and effectively respond; grow; increased clarity and inter-personal connection. Isn’t that what you want in your life and relationships?
I know I do.
Ready? Grow you capability for self connection via Connection Essentials